Category: Caregiver Spotlight

As a caregiver who has made the journey from North Macedonia to the United States, I am grateful for the opportunity to share my story and experiences. Before making the move, I was a nurse in North Macedonia. I had always enjoyed helping others and providing care to those in need. When I arrived in the United States, I was excited to continue my career in healthcare. My English was limited but I quickly learned and was able to communicate quickly with my clients. Just as importantly, they taught me English, allowing me to write this letter. Six years ago, I couldn’t speak or write English at all!

However, I soon realized that the healthcare system in the United States differed from North Macedonia. At first, I found the change a bit overwhelming, but I needed to make the most of the opportunity and find a way to make a difference in the lives of others. After some searching and networking, I was fortunate enough to find a job as a caregiver.

When I first started, I was hesitant about taking a caregiving position because I always saw myself as a nurse. After a couple of months, I realized that my client wanted to stay at home. For her, having me in the home meant she stayed comfortable and in place. I really felt like I was making a positive impact. A realization swept over me, this work fulfilled a part of me like nothing before. I build strong relationships with my clients and their families.

One of the things that I love most about being a caregiver is the flexibility and variety this position offers. No two days are the same, and I have the opportunity to work with a diverse group of clients with a wide range of needs. I also appreciate the ability to work one-on-one with my clients, because this way I am able to provide personalized and compassionate care.

One of the challenges that I’ve faced as a caregiver is learning how to approach end-of-life care as it can be really complex and overwhelming at times. I’ve had to learn to be calm, so that I can provide support for the people who are with the client I’m caring for rather than focusing on my own challenges with a very natural process. I’m fortunate to work with a supportive team that has helped by always providing guidance.

In addition to enjoying the job and what I do for clients, I find that being a caregiver has allowed me to grow both personally and professionally. I’ve learned a lot about different cultures and have had the opportunity to work with people from every walk of life.

Thank you to all of my clients!

Today, we had the opportunity to sit down with a person everyone wants, or should want, to have on their team, Kathy Herbener. Kathy is a Client Care Manager based out of our Chicago office and has over 15 years of experience in home care space, and what makes her really special is the attention and thought she puts into managing her client’s care and the relationships she forms with clients, families and colleagues along the way. Kathy quickly becomes an advocate for her clients, an indispensable and trusted advisor that really explains care options before putting care in place. She is thoughtful when placing caregivers, always going the extra mile to make sure they feel supported when working in the field. In fact, Kathy accompanies caregivers when they first start working with clients and if there is ever a change in the regular staff or any issue whatsoever, she is right there, finding the best solution. Before launching her career in the Home Health Care space, Kathy had a number of jobs, but perhaps none was as notable as the position she held at Shirl’s, a restaurant in Roselle, IL her parents owned and operated for nearly five decades. It was there that Kathy learned the importance of community, customer service and reputation. Not very many restaurants are around for 50 years and Shirl’s was a community staple until it closed its doors when Kathy’s parents, also staples of their community, retired in the early 2000s. 

We got the chance to interview Katy recently to learn more about her caregiving wisdom, and what drives her to excel at her job.

1. How did you get into caregiving?

Well before I ever thought about working in the home health care business, I was trained as a lay minister at my church. This taught me a lot about how to care for others when they are in crisis. 

Then a moment came where a very close friend of mine had a daughter who was born with a microdeletion of chromosome 7. Which is basically similar to Down’s Syndrome – but very rare. In fact, there were no previous documented cases in the United States, so she was an extremely unique case. It was a wonderful chance to put my skills into practice and help a dear friend, and a wonderful little girl who needed me. What could be better? She’s 14 now and doing fabulous!

I really enjoyed that experience and soon thereafter my husband’s parents – my in-laws – needed help. Because of my background and upbringing, I was uniquely suited to stepping into that role. It was also a very rewarding experience. 

This led to an opportunity to manage the care of a young woman who had brain cancer and a stroke – she was just 40 when she was diagnosed. She’s passed now, but I was with her for a few years and that experience was transformative.

After that, I had an opportunity to move into more of an administrative role, which is what I’ve been doing since. 

2. Why do you love doing what you do?

Well, I guess you could say, in a sense, my whole life has revolved around service to others,  making people happy, and taking care of them. But, also growing and continuing to learn how to take care of others. It’s a very important part of who I am. 

Really you could say it was baked into my DNA from day 1. I was brought up in a big, loving family. My parents owned a restaurant and of course, as soon as I was old enough I was put to work before going out into the real world! I worked there from the age of 14. Watching how my parents took care of their customers and by extension, our community, were lessons that have stuck with me. I know there were more than a few times they fed people who couldn’t afford the meal, and never asked for a penny. The church was always a big part of our lives – and still is, and those core principles of selflessness and service are very important to me. 

3. Can you tell me about a family or client you’ve worked with that has really affected your life? What made them so great?

I can honestly say that each opportunity I’ve had to take care of someone else has been a blessing for me. When you serve others, you often get just as much back – if not more. You know, at the end of the day we all have to look out for each other, don’t we? 

4. What do you love about working for Private Home Care?

Every person or family I’ve been blessed to help, and every person or family that we serve at PHC is like an extension of our own family. The team orientation is wonderful. Working as a team and having a common care philosophy with the members of that team is so important. 

5. What advice would you give to families who either need help or even think they might need help?

First, start assessing and documenting the changes you are seeing. Get a doctor’s advice always. After that, I would say to gather as much information as possible about the care you need and who is providing it. If you’re aren’t sure where to start PHC offers a Complimentary Home Assessment. We’ll send a team member to your home to assess your needs and recommend a plan of care for free. Even if home care is not something you are sure is an option, we are here to provide you with information so you can make the best, informed decision. 

You know there are things that will seem obvious in retrospect, but not so much when you are new to the process – like a Safety Assessment. Basically, “is the environment safe”? Examples might be trip hazards like rugs or furniture. If a loved one falls, what sharp edges are there that could be much more serious than just a fall? If the environment needs to be changed, you’ll need to address that before bringing in home care. This is all part of our information-gathering process. But these are things you can start thinking about on your own as well. 
On a more personal note, I would say that families need to work together – if there is more than one person in the family. Especially when a loved one can’t make decisions for themself. It’s a team effort, and it’s going to take a team effort. Not everyone in a family unit is equipped to do the same thing. We’re not all wired the same way, and we don’t all have the same skillsets, but everyone can – and should – have a role to play. Ultimately, you have to remember that it all comes down to what’s best for your loved one. It’s about them. No one else.

Background:

At Private Home Care, we believe in personalized home care and that music and art can have profound benefits for everyone. That’s why we offer a variety of ways for our clients to get involved in the arts, such as art or music therapy sessions with one of our partner therapists or art lessons with an instructor. We got the chance to sit down with one of our art instructors, Cecelia Davidson. Cecelia was born in St. Louis and grew up in Brentwood. She recently returned to St. Louis after many years in Los Angeles, where she worked as an independent artist and eventually, an art professor at several universities. The paintings you see throughout this post are the work of Cecelia’s students, many of whom are above 85 years old. 

1. How did you become an art instructor?

I’ve always been creative. My first husband and I basically started the regeneration of Lafayette Square in the City of St. Louis-a beautiful neighborhood full of amazing French style homes with Mansard roofs. I was a painter and he was a well-known sculptor. We rehabbed 36 buildings by ourselves. Eventually, we divorced, and after traveling the world a bit, I ended up in Los Angeles. There, I worked as Professor for many years teaching art, mostly the beginning skills. Drawing, design, painting, all of it. I’m lucky to have the ability to work in multiple disciplines. I loved teaching people to create for themselves. Recently, I returned to St. Louis. I come from a big Irish Catholic family, so it felt like a good time to come back home. I found a loft on Grand Ave. There was a woman, who was also an artist, working for Private Home Care, in the elevator taking groceries up. After talking a while, my new friend suggested I could teach art to seniors. It was the furthest thing from my mind, but I found I’m pretty good at it! I teach one time a week and independent living community in Clayton. The rest are private clients. 

2. Why do you love doing what you do?

Everyone has the power to create something of beauty and magic. It doesn’t matter if they are in their 20s or their 90s. I give the people the gift of taking this seriously. I feel like this is lacking in older adult care. Also, I don’t sugarcoat their work. If it’s not good, I don’t tell them it is, but I find subtle ways of shifting their work until it’s of value – meaning they get to create what they had in their head. I shift their expectations and desires to match their level of skill and commitment. Most seniors don’t want to learn the principles of design or art, so I help them find images that they paint from. I tell them, “You are the King or Queen of that piece of real estate. That canvas, that piece of paper, whatever. You own it and it can be anything you want it to be.” We work together to find something that someone else has already figured out. Composition, color, perspective. It’s like starting from a template. Students can visualize it and basically “copy” it but in their own style. If you think about it, all artists come from a “school” and apprentice under master artists. They all start from someone else’s expertise and then develop their own style. It’s the same for my clients. No senior wants to go to “school” and start from scratch learning the fundamentals of design and art. They just want to create! And this is a method that helps them jump in and develop faster. 

3. Can you tell me about a family or home care client you’ve worked with that has really affected your life? What made them so great?

I had a client who was in her 90’s who had a full-time, live-in private caregiver, weighed about 90 pounds, in a wheelchair, and could only move her hand from the left to the right about six inches in one direction. Her hands were so arthritic, you had to place the pen in her hand. But she wanted to do something. So, I would take her paintbrush, and fill it with watercolor, and put it in her and say “Ok, go!” Then I would move on and come back, rotate the canvas, and move on. There’s a natural effect in watercolor called “blooming”, and that’s what she was able to come up with. Then she would put interesting black lines over it. Her caregiver said it was the highlight of her week. Her children were so touched they actually had artwork that she created in the last months of her life, and they were beautiful! She had always been creative. I was able to see her as a real, living human being who wanted to paint watercolors every day. Not an “old” crippled woman who “used” to be something. I was able to give her that gift back at the end. That will stay with me forever. 

3. What are the benefits of what you do?

So many seniors are battling a feeling of worthlessness, boredom, and futility. Many are near the end of their life’s adventure. But they haven’t lost their desire to produce something that wasn’t there before. Life doesn’t have to consist of a mundane daily routine. Everyone needs something to look forward to each day, or week. Everyone needs a sense of purpose. 

5. What advice would you give to anyone looking for something like this or caring for an older adult?

Never, ever give up on the inventive power of the human spirit, and the desire to create. It’s our essential life force. And we all want that to be treated with respect. If you want to do this yourself, find a class that isn’t too far beyond their ability, but that isn’t simply cut and paste or “babysitting.” Get real art materials for the home. Find fairly uncomplicated images with 4 or 5 major elements. For example, two apples, a pear, a table, and a chair. A classic “Still Life” painting. For most people, I would with stick with the Impressionists (Monet, Manet, etc). They’re not highly detailed and the colors are beautiful! Or simple landscapes. Print it out on large paper, with high-quality ink. Put dates, and initials on everything. That’s important because when someone says they are not getting any better, you can show them something from months ago and they can see how much progress they’ve made.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

To learn more about art instruction or other Specialized Care Services, please feel free to call us at any time. 

Originally from Alabama, and now residing in Olathe, KS, Christy is a professional caregiver for Private Home Care. Her path to caregiving started by taking care of her mom and dad for 9 years on her own, after her father was diagnosed with “Sundowners” Dementia, which progressed into Alzheimer’s. She was previously an Ophthalmic Nurse before moving in full time with her parents to care for them. She’s been a professional caregiver with PHC for over a year now.

We got the chance to interview Christy recently to learn more about her caregiving wisdom, and what drives her to excel at her job.

1. How did you get into caregiving?

“One day something just changed in dad. Mom said he’s been doing that for a while, and like many people didn’t want to alarm us, so she hadn’t said anything. Dad was diagnosed with Sundowners, which is early-onset Alzheimers. It got progressively worse from there. I just knew Mom couldn’t take of him by herself. 3 weeks after, I moved in full time. Eventually, Dad passed on a Christmas Day, surrounded by his family and thankfully very lucid at that moment, which was a real gift when dealing with Alzheimer’s. Like a lot of couples who have been married a long time, after Dad passed, Mom wasn’t really the same. She suffered from heart issues but thankfully did not suffer from any dementia. However, she only made it to the following Thanksgiving.

After that, I moved to Denver for a year, but being used to a slower pace, and fewer people, found Denver to be too crowded. I decided Kansas was a little more suited to me and decided to move to Olathe, where I had family. At that point, I had to decide what I was going to do for a living. I did have one interview with an eye surgeon, and considered going back to nursing, but quickly realized it wasn’t for me anymore. The pressure to move patients in and out to maximize profits wasn’t why I got into it in the first place, and after the experience with my parents, I realized I needed to choose a path that would make me happy, and more importantly fulfilled. So when I really got down to what that might look like, I realized that what kept me going the past 9 years was taking care of mom and dad. And I knew there were other people in the same position. I thought if I could help them, then that’s what will make me happy. And because I went through it myself, I could offer perspective and empathy beyond just caring.

2. Why do you love caring for families?

Because I went through it myself, I feel I can make it easier. Just having someone takes a big weight off people. I took the weight of my Mom. Now I take the weight off other people’s spouses and parents. It’s amazing how even the littlest things like being able to read a book in peace for a few hours, or taking a few extra minutes in the bath because you can’t leave them alone for too long can make a world of difference. It’s not always the big things. It’s being able to give families some time to themselves and support. Even if I’m down or depressed, there’s always a family relying on me to take care of them. And that gives me purpose.

3. Can you tell me about a family you’ve worked with that has really affected your life? What made them so great?

The family I’m taking care of now is originally from the South, like I am. And they feel more like family at this point, than a client. The gentleman I take care of now has Parkinson’s, which has been a learning experience. Different from Alzheimer’s but no less challenging. One thing that stands out is how much they give back to the community. He’s a former respiratory therapist, and they give like no one I’ve ever seen. It’s really inspiring. So, I don’t mind doing whatever needs to be done for them. They give me a reason to get up every day – along with my grand-daughter, who is the light of my life!

4. What do you love about working for Private Home Care?

Funny story. I wasn’t even sure anyone would hire me since I didn’t have any professional experience. But, ironically, as I was walking out of another interview that resulted in a job offer on the spot, Mario from PHC called me. Literally, right as I got in my car. I hadn’t even shut the door and the phone rang. I told Mario, I just got a job offer from the other company, and Mario said, “Well I don’t think you need to work there, you need to come here. From what you said, we need you”. I said yes immediately. I don’t know what it was, but something about PHC felt right. I knew that’s where I was meant to go next. And, then I got matched with my current family, which has been such a blessing. It feels almost like divine providence. The people at PHC make the difference.

5. What advice would you give to families who either need help or even think they might need help?

The first thing I’ll say, having been through it myself, is this is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. It’s not easy coming to grips with situations like this. The second thing I would say is most people just aren’t equipped to handle all that comes with this. They just aren’t. There’s no shame in it. It’s not a failure to admit you don’t know what to do. You aren’t equipped. And that’s ok. We are. Reach out. We have the people and the resources. Even if you just need to talk to someone, we’re here. You don’t even have to be a client or potential client. We can help, and at a minimum, point you in the right direction. Bluntly, I would say drop your pride on this. It’s not a failure. There’s a team here. You need a team.

Private Home Care provides home health care tailored to our client’s unique needs, no matter their age or how long we are needed. Our Caregivers have the experience and knowledge to provide an array of care services, from short-term, post-surgical support to long-term companionship and care for aging adults. We are a leader in Alzheimer’s and Dementia care, and we have specialized care teams who provide compassionate end-of-life care and hospice support.